Scapegoat

I never leave first
everything leaves me

friendsfamilylovers

doors shutting
phones hanging

all lost into fate
into oblivion

I don’t choose
I never choose

It all just happens
I can’t run away

or even
look back,
anymore.

It hurts so much
when you act like

it’s all about me
me

when you say
my tears are
an inconvenience

getting in the way
of your sleep

the time with your family

your friends

I’m sorry
that even the hurt

cuts into
your schedule

It cuts me too

and the blood stains your shoes
so you push me away

"Stupid!"
you say

"Inconsiderate bitch",
you accuse

then go out
to buy your comic books

I don’t do it on purpose
I gasp;
I try
to swallow the torment in silence

I am not good at it yet

I still scream when broken glass
slices down my throat

Just
hold your ears
it will be over soon

When you return
there will be dinner

after,
I lie down for dessert.

Take your fill, my love...

I will make all the right sounds
until you walk away
again.