How to Time Travel

C'mon, you know you want to try this:

You want to fix an embarrassing moment in the past? You want to stop a major event in world history? You can bend time and space? Then you're going to want to build a time machine. Recent advancements in physics show that time travel is theoretically possible. All you need is a Yugo (NOT a DeLorean).

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You'll Need

Worm hole generator
Anti-gravity engine
A Yugo

Steps

Step One

Find yourself a black hole. The basic design of your time machine will have to deal with the incredible pressure of traveling through a black hole—the best way to travel through time. Any old black hole will not do, however. The black hole needs to be connected to a white hole—together called a worm hole. If you find a pure black hole, you'll be sucked into infinity with no way out. Not recommended.

Step Two

A worm hole can have incredible pressure—many times that of the sun, so take this into account when building your time machine. Come to think of it, a DeLorean probably isn't the best vehicle to withstand this pressure. Try a Yugo.

Step Three

In a worm hole, both gravity and space are warped. Most importantly, wormholes connect two disparate locations—in both time and space. To build a time machine, you need to be able to create wormholes and choose a destination. There is also the possibility that worm holes exist naturally—they have been proven mathematically but never seen.

Step Four

OK, here's where it gets tricky (after you've tracked down a Yugo), one side of the worm hole should be placed by a neutron star—the gravity will slow down time on one end of the worm hole. This way, when the time traveler enters the end of the worm hole at the star, and comes back again, time will not have passed—even if he traveled 20 years into the future within the worm hole. Make sense?

Step Five

Next, don't kill your parents. If you go back in time and murder your parents as children, will you continue to exist? Still up for debate.