Con: He knows just why you're wearing those pants to 'Hang out with a couple friends'.
Pro: He loves your cooking.
Con: He loves your cooking.
Pro: He buys all the household necessities to show you he's 'more responsible now'.
Con: He doesn't use them. He already did his part, remember?
Pro: He knows what you like.
Con: He'll do exactly the opposite.
I could go on, but why? I'm sure you get the point. Truth be told, it really isn't so bad. Just frustrating at times. Like, why o why does he wait until the bowl he used to make the mac & cheese has been on the stove for 3 days, leaving globs of psuedocheese to congeal until you have to use a sledgehammer and a screwdriver to clean it? He does have a reason.
Jeff: It had to soak.
Me: In what? Air?
Aie. Then there's the milk situation. Ok, so he buys milk for the singular purpose that he has also bought cookies. (This I have no objection to, even though we both know that he is allergic to milk. His reasoning is that he doesn't know how allergic, so it's ok to push the bar) Cookies get et. Milk goes bad because....? You guessed it. He's allergic.
/facepalm
It doesn't stop there. The milk he leaves in there for 3 days past the expiry. I tell him, "Jeff, throw your milk away, it's gone bad."
Jeff: Ok.
*nothing happens for another day or so*
Me: Jeff. The milk?
Jeff: It'll only go worse if I take it from the fridge now.
Me: What d'you mean worse? Throw it down the sink! *twitch*
Jeff: Ok. *continues playing on his computer*
At this point, I am thinking I should just do it on my own. But no. This happens a lot. Sometimes, you have to stop doing things for someone or they'll never do anything of thier own volition.
So, the next morning I find the milk container next to the sink. I sigh, a bit in relief, and a bit in annoyance that he couldn't manage to walk the 2 feet to the trashcan to put the empty container inside.
*picks up container*
There's still milk in it. Well, I don't know if you can actually call it milk anymore. It's more like....ugh, never mind. Holding my breath I threw it down the sink, accompanied by copious amounts of water & dishwashing liquid, which is lemony fresh and completely fails in covering the stench *sigh*. When he wakes up I tell him of my Milky Kitchen Adventure and he grunts, "I told you so...it went worse."
/stare.
To be fair, he does do all the shopping, and has only been late once in paying his part of a bill. Not bad for 6 years, 3 of which we actually dated. There is a good deal of trust involved; he has never lied to me, and I have been able to go on extended trips where I was completely confident that everything would be taken care of. Sure, we've had our hard times, when he was slammed in the head with a metal ladder at Fatburger 4 years ago, where he worked as a shift lead. He couldn't work for over a year and I supported him financially with only his tiny workman's comp check to bolster things. Things were stressfull then, and all the money issues severely wore at the shards of our already fracturing relationship. When it did end...sorta, there were enough pieces to pick up to decide (repeatedly) that we were going to try again. And again, and again. It was convenient to keep living together, so we did...and we knew there was always going to be that other person there that still cared enough about the other to listen.
So he's still here, still with me...and it's a bit of a drag sometimes, especially when I was trying to date other people and bring them around to the apartment ("Oh hey, this is my ex, heh heh. He'll just be in the other room all evening..."). Now, with me currently in a long-distance relationship I think he's in denial. It makes both of us sad. We'd both discussed long ago the possiblity of niether of us finding 'the one' and just spending our days together, but we'd never thought what would happen if one of us did and one didn't. Upon one of my attempts to address the matter Jeff said he'd leave and never see me again. Even though he'd want me to be happy he couldn't be happy for me. I understand that, I guess. I'm jealous by nature too.
But I do want to see him happy. In spite of his foibles and infantile issues, he is a person I care for very much and my boyfriend understands this too. Hell, he even told me Jeff would be welcome to live with us someday. Well, no way would I let that happen, but I thought it was a nice gesture. I will miss him in my life and I suspect he'll never know how much, but I have to look towards the future and let go of the past and even the present to see it through.
Jeff will be fine. If I don't show him that I have faith in him, how can he have faith in himself? If he doesn't want any contact after the parting, I will have to believe and trust that it is the right thing to do because he... does.
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